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Looking Back To Go Forward


Early 2019 I realized it was time for me to step up my game business-wise, and during the almost 3 years since, I've faced some tough truths and uncomfortable realizations, particularly this last year. As I look back, I'm now in a deeper and more reflective mood, thinking about my own growth and evolution. As I worked on stepping my game up, I began to see my own mindset issues and it hit me that I allowed fear to settle in, which created a whole new comfort zone without me even realizing it.

Yes, I have several health issues I could easily blame this on. For more than 10 years now I've dealt with a particularly aggressive and unusual case of Systemic Lupus that attacked my heart, lungs, bones, connective tissue and brain. I had to learn how to walk and talk all over again, at times I struggle with word-find, memory, and comprehension issues, and for a long time I didn't know if I'd even wake up the next day. I get that's an unusual set of circumstances and I'm allowed to cut myself some slack. And even though I moved through life as if all was cool by still carrying on with raising my family and running a business, however… I also had to manage a cane/walker/wheelchair, fit in endless doctor appointments, chemo, and manage a complicated medication schedule. But I realized I was living in a suspended animation; I was IN this life, but not LIVING it.

In March 2019 God started whispering the word "Bigger" to me, and for some reason that word made everything click for me. I've been too afraid too afraid to work and live BIGGER.

My health, and the experiences I've had because of it, really played a number on me and my confidence. Yes, I continued to be a rock star at running my business and creating amazing wins for our clients; I can do that in my sleep because that's one of the comfort zones I excel in, and it didn't involve me stretching myself. But still, I became afraid to live my life in all the ways that matter to me – I stopped:

  • Taking chances

  • Creating vision and executing on it

  • Setting Goals

  • Taking action

  • Challenging myself

  • More importantly… I stopped dreaming.

All because I've been afraid to see myself going forward. I've been so concerned about what was in the past and how that past might be affecting my now, that I had forgotten how to look to the future and be excited about it. It took a minute for me to own this because it meant I had to think and do things differently and get out of my comfort zone…. And that scared me. But I've figured out how to manage this… which is the same way I've managed my health – I've just decided that I'm going to keep getting back up no matter how many times I might fall down.

So... what are you ready to stop being afraid of?

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